Shiver
by Over the Sky
Summary: She looks just like her... Even for just a moment, he believed it to be her. "Yuris doesn't exist anymore, you know." Alex x Sophia l Implied Alex x Yuris l One-shot


This is my first LE fic, please be nice. I realise people maybe out of character, or the lines may be wrong but please be nice.

Everyone lets a go eventually - even just for a moment.

"I told of Claus everything," He announced as she prepared to leave the room. His eyes were locked on the picture of him and his fiancee over 10 years. He refused to meet her gaze. "He said he wouldn't leave."

Silence. He just barely heard her hand slip away from the door knob. "Is that so..." She murmured quietly. He wouldn't dare look in her direction, he knew what would happen. It had happened before after all. He didn't want to bare the face it was just a look alike and not his fiancee.

He tore his gaze away, and got up to look out the stormy window. He ran his hand over the cold glass, and peered at his own reflection. Her reflection was behind his, staring at him. He narrowed his eyes - she was still there. Hadn't he told her to tie her hair up?!

He whipped around, prepared to interrogate her on why she hadn't followed his orders. Even just for a moment, he saw her. A tempting illusion of what he had lost so long ago. Yuris. Why did she insist on haunting him - both of them? It was like they had planned it. Yuris to leave him heartbroken with her death and Sophia to be the spitting image of her. ...Hadn't he suffered enough?

He closed his eyes. Maybe if he didn't look it would all go away. Maybe she would leave him alone in peace. He opened his eyes, he was the commander. One damn woman would not break him.

Even if she looked just like **her**.

He looked in her direction again, he struggled to tell himself it wasn't her. Just a copy cat. An illusion... a lie. He could feel his resolve breaking, he turned back to the window in hopes of distracting himself.

"Alex?" He heard scarcely heard her amidst his inner turmoil. "Alex?" She repeated, "Are you alright?"

It sounded just like her.

He said nothing but peered at her reflection. She looked just like **her**. He listened to her sigh quietly and approach the door once again. He slowly felt the effects of the liquor getting to him.

However long it had taken to convince himself his first officer was not Yuris didn't matter anymore. He didn't care. Right now, to him - she was. Even just for a moment he wanted to let go, lie to himself that she was back with him again. ...Maybe even escape a night full of nightmares where she haunted him. ....The most precious thing he left behind so long ago.

...He wasn't going to let her go this time .

He got up quickly, nearly knocking his nearby chair in the process. He watched as she turned around - not scared in the least bit as he approached her, his back cloak fluttering around him as he took long stride towards her.

Before she had even comprehended what had happened, he had her pinned to the wall, with his hands firmly secured around her wrists. He felt her breath hitch, and her body freeze under her grip, she truly looked like a frightened rabbit in a trap. She didn't understand what was going on after all.

His Yuris was back. He paused a moment, avoiding her eyes. He barely heard her murmur his name. He really didn't give a damn anymore, he quickly claimed her lips with his own. He felt her freeze up again, she was obviously confused about the sudden display of affection... or lack there of.

He closed his eyes, losing himself in her, he felt her relax and slowly removed his hands from her wrist and brought them up to her hair. So long... It had been so long since he had touched another like his. Since he had touched **her**. He combed his finger through her hair, slowly enjoying the feeling of it. He deepened the kiss, moving his lips against hers slowly. He felt her shiver, as he coaxed her lips apart, begging for entrance to he mouth. She complied, allowing him complete control. He felt his lungs burning for air, and pulled away reluctantly.

He was moving down to her neck when he felt her hands on his shoulders pushing him away slowly. "Alex, no." She whispered, he opened his eyes slowly. The intricate silver collar of the Silvanna uniform caught his eye. He suddenly felt sick.

The dream was breaking.

He pulled away abruptly. It was supposed to be his Yuris. His beloved Yuris. He snapped his eyes up to meet hers. Green. Not brown, green. He couldn't lie to himself anymore.

The dream was broken.

What was supposed to be his fiancee was instead his first officer. He removed his hands from her body and stepped back. He cursed himself 1,000 times over, it wasn't supposed to be this way.

He allowed his eyes to watch her, as she moved away from the wall. She rubbed her wrists - it would leave bruises. She turned to him once again.

"Alex..." He watched her lips form the words clearly, but he barely heard the sound. The way she said his name in... pity? Concern... love? He wanted none of that. He moved to his desk, straightening his chair before sitting.

"Leave." He said firmly. He didn't have to look at her to tell she was hurt and utterly confused. She wasn't moving. "Go." He repeated. There was a pause before she bowed to take her leave. "That hair isn't appropriate for this ship." He said coldly.

And suddenly, she understood. The picture of her younger captain, his fiancee, Claus and Lavie's parents starred back at her. Yuris... Deep inside, she knew even when his fiancee was gone she would never stand a chance of getting his love. However badly it hurt, it was true. She felt empathy for him, after all, he had lost the will to experience any delight in life after she had left him.

Not that he would have seen, but her eyes softened in a pity, most likely for both of them. "Yuris doesn't exist anymore, you know." She said softly before leaving.

He didn't reply, nor got up to go after her as he heard the door shut softly. He knew she was probably crying, he still wouldn't go after her. The only person he loved or will ever love was dead, along with his soul.

"Never again," He murmured to himself, staring at the picture. "Never again."

_After all, Yuris doesn't exist anymore._


End file.
